Kierkegaard - Works of Love Part 2 Chapter 8

The Victory of Reconciliation in Love

Spiritually understood, there are always two victories, a first victory and a second in which the first victory is preserved. 

If a second victory is considered, a person never gets to be proud of his victory.

The first victory refers to overcoming evil with good. The unloving one is the vanquished.  The strife is between good and evil.    And it is a miracle if it succeeds.

Long before the enemy thinks of seeking reconciliation, the lover is already reconciled with him.  Also, the lover does not let on any sign of superiority, brings the truth in such a way that she does not notice that he is the teacher. This is holy shyness.